Jeremiah ~ The 1st In Line

June is always a bit of a weird month for our family. In 2004 on Father's Day of all days, our second son Jeremiah went home to be with Jesus.

 He was born while we were living in India and trying to plant a church. We knew throughout the pregnancy that something wasn't quite right with him but we didn't know what it was exactly. It wasn't until he was born that we learned he had Down Syndrome and a rare condition called esophageal atrasea (simply meaning he had no food tube and needed to eat from a tube placed in his stomach).

We had a whirlwind of thoughts surrounding his birth. I was actually way more stressed about the esophageal issue than anything knowing that would require surgical attention. As the days went on we spent a lot of time praying for his healing and a lot of time falling in love with him. I have learned that it doesn't really matter what obstacles arrive surrounding a babies birth, once you bring that baby home and start cuddling, the love will grow!
During his 7th month we ended up in Minnesota to visit a world famous surgeon who had discovered an amazing way to re-connect the esophagus through a procedure that is very successful.
Jeremiah didn't respond to any treatments they were giving him, but somehow I still felt that God would heal him, one way or another.
On June 19th I sat in our Ronald McDonald room and these words and a tune came to my heart.

Your ways- they are not
They are not like mine
Your times are different
So different than mine
I see in part
But you Lord, you see the whole
I'm never certain
But you, you're always sure...always sure

That's why
Wisdom is yours
Understanding is yours Lord
I can not see, so lead me, lead me
I will follow
Wisdom is yours
Understanding is yours Lord
I can not see so lead me, lead me
I will follow.
Lead me, lead me, lead me, I will follow

Within 24 hours of this song coming to me, we held Jeremiah's hand as he slipped away from us and into his heavenly Father's arms, on Father's day. 

The 3 years following that day my heart learned many things as it slowly healed from that loss (and still is). I have taken much comfort in the fact that the Lord was not surprised at all by Jeremiah's death. I was shocked but He wasn't and the song He gave me was one way that He was reminding me that we see through a glass dimly but He sees it all. Wisdom is His, I would do things very differently than He does, so I have to trust that He has everything under control. I don't have to understand everything to be sure He is in control. I will die with many unanswered questions, but my confidence in Him doesn't come from the answers He provides me, it comes from me trusting His character and He is good.
Another thing I felt the Lord show me at one point when I was asking Him why Jeremiah's life with us was "taken" and I felt like he said "You're looking at this as if I have taken His life, but I see it as having given you 8 months with him". This truth really changed my heart and I started to become more thankful for the time we did have and grieved less over the time that we didn't have.
No matter how long we have "our" kids they are actually borrowed. My kids have the same Father I do.

I also took great comfort in Hebrews 12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
I felt certain that if Jeremiah could tell me one thing it would be "Don't cry for me mom, this place is more wonderful than you can imagine, I am cheering you on, keep on running the race our Father has put before you, in time, He will make all things beautiful and you will join me here, I was just the 1st in line from our family, the 1st to see Jesus".

I can not imagine living without the ever present assurance that heaven is our home!
This life is so empty on it's own, but we can rest assured that our destination is not a great house, or a job that thrills us, or a picture perfect marriage, our ultimate goal is Jesus, simply Jesus, face to face, arms wide open, welcoming us home, to the home that he has been eagerly preparing for us. To think of all the joy and hard work we put into preparing our home for a new baby and multiply that a thousand times over. He must be so giddy with joy when he welcomes one of His children home!
Psalms 116 says- Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.  
I also had to come to terms with the Lord not healing Jeremiah. I had my mind wrapped around a healing on this earth and felt that He didn't love me enough to give me that. But my thinking was wrong. Jeremiah's death was not God telling me "no" at all, as I type these words He is perfectly whole.
The Lord can most certainly heal people and He still does this, but many times He chooses to work in other ways. The decision is His alone. As believers our hope is not wrapped up in healing, it's temporal. Our hope is in Jesus and that takes all the sting out of death because "death" in this life is really just the beginning of eternity with our Father in our real home.

Knowing who we are

On Thursday nights here we have a Bible study that was started with the intention of encouraging people to read through the Bible in one year. We simply choose a book to read each week, then gather on Thursday nights to talk about things like the author, the theme etc. By far, my favorite part is hearing what verses stuck out to the other readers. I always knew there were things to be learned from other believers, but I guess I thought we had more to learn from those who have been believers for a long time. While it's true that they have gained much wisdom from walking with the Lord many years, I am seeing new believers as a source of fresh energy and I LOVE hearing how they are gaining so much from reading things for the 1st time. It's like watching my little Felicity eat with a fork for the first time, or pop a bubble in mid-air for the first time. There is something beautiful about the "firsts".

This weeks reading was on Matthew. One of my favorite things in the whole Bible is found in Matthew where Jesus asks the disciples "Who or what are people saying about me?" They go on to tell him some of the titles that people are giving him. Then he gets to the heart of the matter by asking "But what about you? Who do you say that I am?"
This is where Peter steps up and says what his heart is prompting him to say "You are the Christ, the son of the living God".
This question wasn't only for the disciples at that point in time.
This question is one that each heart must answer for all of time.
 Who exactly is Jesus?
 People have always said things about him, lots of things!
Some say he was a great teacher like Confucius, some say he was an interesting historical figure that we know existed, but other than that we can't be sure exactly who He was. 

C.S Lewis summed up the possibilities best when he said Jesus is either "Lunatic, Liar, or Lord",  or we could say "Mad, Bad, or God".
Peter had already wrestled with this question and had firmly concluded that Jesus was indeed the Song of God. He didn't come to this conclusion because someone "talked" him into believing it. If you can be "talked" into believing you can be "talked" right back out. He didn't answer an alter call and come to Jesus that way either. He had a revelation of the truth in his heart and he was changed by that.
I love asking new friends this question "What do you think about Jesus?" Living in China isn't like living in America. People aren't confronted with Jesus everywhere they go here. There aren't Christian radio stations, there is no Christian TV, there aren't churches on every block, people aren't sporting Jesus t-shirts or have little fish stickers on their car bumpers.

 People can go about their lives here for years without hearing the name of Jesus and this isn't even "the middle of nowhere". This city has 10 million plus people!
But the truth is, if we don't know the truth about Jesus then we don't know the truth about ourselves! Before Jesus came along to shake things up, Peter was just doing what was in front of him, and that was fishing. If you asked him who he was he would have answered "a fisherman", but he would have been wrong!
      Jesus told Peter who he was when he said “And I tell you that you are Peter. On this rock I will build My church. The powers of hell will not be able to have power over My church. ¹⁹ I will give you the keys of the holy nation of heaven. Whatever you do not allow on earth will not have been allowed in heaven. Whatever you allow on earth will have been allowed in heaven.” 
Without knowing the truth about Jesus, Peter could not know the truth about himself!
God created Peter to be a fisher of men, but Peter was just going from day to day without even knowing his purpose. Oh he was busy, but he wasn't being eternally productive. Maybe he was a fishermen because his dad was, or it was good money, he might have even liked it, maybe he was very good at it  but it wasn't what he was born to do. Peter is no different than us! We all must go through the same process of -
1. Discovering Jesus.
2. Deciding what we believe about Him.
3. Declaring it - Peter said with his mouth out loud "You are the Christ".
4. Discovering who Jesus says we are.
5. Walking out that calling.

My current thoughts on homeschooling

The reason I say my "current" thoughts is simply because my thoughts on the subject have changed over time, hopefully for the better ;-) More than likely they will change again.

This year marks our 5th year of homeschooling (I can hardly believe that!!) and it has been an interesting ride to say the least. It has not always been easy and in many ways it has been a love-hate relationship!

Over the years I have done so much stressing over this entire subject, too much stressing! I think I may have lost 3.2 years off my life with all the stressing I have done about schooling. Are we doing the right thing? Are the kids learning enough? Are they getting a balanced amount of attention? Are we meeting their needs? Are we using the right curriculum?
These questions and countless others would keep me awake for hours on end.
 My biggest concern of all is that we would somehow manage to make incredibly stupid children. Luckily I have met countless stupid adults who have been educated
in a variety of ways easing this fear quite a bit ;-)

While I don't feel like we have arrived by any means, I do find that I spend far less time worrying about these things now. I have also found that as I have worried less, the entire home school journey has become more pleasant.
I think when I stopped pushing so hard and started searching for more life lessons we all became more relaxed.
My current feeling on home-education is that the home is the most natural environment for a child to learn. It happens all the time, even if we aren't "schooling". I am also at a point where I feel more comfortable venturing away from boxed styled curriculums and trust that our family (when depending on the help of the Holy Spirit) is quite capable of gathering the right materials to insure our children get a well-balanced education.

Right now our family has a strong focus on reading. I would say that 75% of our schooling is done through reading. The kids have grown to be genuine book lovers and it isn't unusual for them to finish a chapter book in 1 or 2 days now. This makes me very happy! So much can be learned through simply reading good books. It amazes me how much they repeat from things they have learned through reading.

In the coming school year we are excited to move towards more of a family schooling model. Where we do read-alouds together, copy verses together and any do hands on projects together. The kids will work at their grade level for math and English.
In many ways homeschooling has been a joy.
 I am not saying we have not cried our bucket of tears on the hard days -
we have those days too, trust me!


 Still though I like the results I am seeing more and more and I wanted to be sure and note some of the reasons why we like homeschooling and why it's the right choice for us.
Here goes my list. I would love to see your list too.

• I like my kids! I can't imagine not having them around for the bulk of their young life.

• I would never want my children's main influence in thinking to come from other children (or another adult).
• We feel strongly that God has called us to this and we want nothing more than to obey Him.
• I want to see all of their "firsts". The first time they put sounds together, read a book, write their names. I want to be a part of that.
• I don't want to be concerned about negative habits my kids might be picking up at school.
• I don't want my kids to be "busy" with school for more than 40 hours a week. "Jobs" are for grown-ups. I want my kids to be kids for the time that they can.
• I want my children to be surrounded with people who love to learn and will encourage them to love learning. Most kids have a "get done quick" mentality and see school as a drag. I don't want that attitude around my kids.

• My children are able to use their free time in creative ways and not have 8+ hours of their day "structured" for them.
• I want to have mentally engaging conversations with my kids. Since they are home we have the opportunity for this to happen.
• We want lots of time for reading. When you're in school and busy "learning" headed from this class to that class, waiting for the teacher to get 30 students settled down there is a lot of wasted time.
• I want my children to be able to choose their friends, not end up with whatever kids are in their class.
• I don't want my kids limited to children who are the same age as them. I want them to be surrounded by variety. When they are with children younger than them this nurtures leadership skills, and when they are friends with children older than them they are able to learn.
• I want my children to be well prepared for life and this includes them being future parents. Spending time with their siblings is a great training school for this.

• If my children are weak in areas I want them to be able to move at their own pace without adopting a label like "slow" or "behind".
• If they are ahead I don't want them being limited to the grade level they "should" be learning at. I want them free to move ahead.
• They have extra hours for a part time job. Elijah is teaching English this year and learning things he could never get from a test.
• If something isn't working for them or they aren't learning anything I want the freedom to toss it and find what works best.
• They are able to go to work with their dad when he can take them.
• My little kids have learned SO much from having their older siblings around!!!
• We can take a field trip any old time we want.

• They can be involved in creating their schooling plan. Elijah came up with the idea of gathering pen pals from all 50 states. He is learning geography and letter writing skills in a fun way that he thought of.
• Homeschooling allows for all sorts of fun projects. We like to make videos.

• I like that my kids don't have oodles of homework each night.
• I like the encouraging statistics I see about homeschooling! It works!

http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/rudner1999/Rudner2.asp

• We can choose our schedule.
• We can move to China in March and don't have to drop out of school ;-)

Bottom line, it isn't always easy but we are finding great satisfaction in our choice to homeschool. We are so thankful for those who have encouraged us along the way. You were right!

I want beautiful feet!

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Isaiah 52:7

Beautiful feet?  I am usually pretty grossed out by people's feet to be honest. I think about feet more than I did in America now though. See, in Chinese culture it is polite to remove your shoes when entering a home. You then place some "House Slippers"
on your feet. You don't even want me to begin telling you some of the things
that your shoes have been touching while walking on the streets, so while living
here you see the purpose in removing your shoes and happily embrace the "slippers".
It may be true that the slippers have been worn by 87 people before you, but you
will take your chances.
I have always admired those freshly pedicured toenails happily smiling through glittered flip-flops though. I don't have those kind of feet at all! Mine are more like short little stubs that God decided to make just long enough to enable me to keep balance. But forget the way my toes look in summer shoes, I want the kind of feet that God says are beautifull!

I have always had a strong desire to share Jesus with people. However I have not always been good at it. To be honest, I have gone about it in some very wrong ways. I remember locking my neighbor friend in my bedroom closet as a child because I was unsure about her eternal destination. I gave her strict orders that she was allowed to come out after I felt sure her confession to love Jesus forever what honest and true, not simply to get out of the closet and run home to tell her mom that her Christian neighbors were crazy folk!
That story makes me laugh now and as far as I know she isn't in therpy ~ shew!
Even though my "Methods" needed some fine tuning, my heart was in the right place.

I love the way Luke puts it ~ “Go into the highways and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.”
Acts 2 shows us the passion that Peter spoke to the crowd with ~  With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, "Save yourselves from this corrupt generation."

Jude puts it like this ~ Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives.

See, the closer I get to Jesus, the more aware I become about the eternal destinations of those around me and I am burdened by this. I want beautiful feet, I really do! I want to spend my energy sharing Jesus with people around me. I simply can't think of any better way to "Spend" my life.  I think about ways to share, I pray about ways to share, I read about ways to share....I want to be good at it!

I don't claim to have arrived in this area, all I am saying is I want to get better and better at sharing Jesus in a clear and compelling way. 2nd Thess 3:1 "Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we ask you to pray for us. Pray that the Lord's message will spread rapidly and be honored wherever it goes, just as when it came to you."
Something that I am learning though, is that once we settle once and for all in our minds that people will indeed reject the message then it helps to remove that fear. It's gonna happen! Not everyone is going to accept Jesus gift of salvation, His word tells us that. We have to determine ahead of time that we are just going to keep "Fishing". If I were really fishing and didn't catch anything after 10 minutes I would never think to simply go home because "Oh well, I tried". I would wait it out. That is how evangelism is. You just determine to be a voice for the Lord, ask Him to help you, then you share, and you share some more, and you keep on sharing...and look for the ones who's hearts are have been prepared to receive the Words of life.
The harvest is ready, someone is ready! That's a promise, don't forget it. Someone is waiting to hear those Words of life, that you hold so dear. Chances are they don't even know. How can they know if they have not heard?

"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." Romans 12:11

If you feel your zeal starting to fade, spend time simply thinking about the cross, the Good News and all that happened on that wonderful day.

 (The best and clearest way that I have heard the Gospel explained is through the Way of The Master ministries ~ You can find more info here www.wayofthemaster.com)
Sometimes when we have been Christians for a while, we think we are beyond simple Gospel truths and we spend time going "Deeper" ~ and while it's true that we need to "Grow up and mature in the Lord" we should never be so mature that we lose the child-like, heart-melting, overwhelming understanding of all that we were offered because God paid our death penalty on the cross. It was Good News 2,000 years ago and it's still Good News today! So let's share it, and share it again and keep on sharing it, until we see Jesus face to face!

What makes a good mother?

This week my boys and I had a belated Mother's Day date.
We went to a little French place in town. I am not a huge fan on French eating, because you always leave with empty pockets and a belly that isn't quite full, but the place is darling. Not to mention the fact that it's their favorite place.  They were so excited for days leading up to our "Date" and it was very sweet to have lunch with just them. I had fun joking with them about how they are only ever allowed to date 2 women their entire lives - their mother and their wife ;-)

With all the Mother's Day talk I thought alot about what it is exactly that makes a "Good" mother. Since I am raising "Third Culture Kids" I have become increasingly aware that a "Good" mother means different things in different places. Chinese mother's show their love in very different ways than Western mothers do (for the most part). I have come to appreciate seeing different "styles".
 Even within a country people often times can't agree on details like bed times, napping, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, schooling, TV time, etc. That's exactly what those things are though, no matter how dogmatic some may be, they are details. We can not create our parenting views on our society, for one reason they don't even agree. As Christians, our authority always comes back to Jesus and what His Word says. Last week one of my Chinese friends, who is a fairly new believer told me he had been thinking about how he would have a conversation that would introduce his faith to his children (when he actually has children ;-). I found that to be an interesting thought, because I had never even considered sharing my faith with my children in an introductory conversation. I want them to have lived with Jesus at the center of their family for as far back they can remember. I shared Deut. 6 with him " Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

This pretty much covers "When" to share Jesus with your kids - ALL the time. Because He is isn't someone we just sing about on Sunday, and He isn't someone who just teaches us how to live a moral life, He isn't just someone we read about in the Bible, He isn't just some idea. He is everything, He is the center of our lives or at least He should be. I want my kids to "Live" Jesus. That is what I believe makes us a "Good" mom/parent in God's eyes. A parent who points to Jesus!
When I think of my own mom I can see that she did just that. Was she perfect? No, neither am I. But she did point me to Jesus!
See we can't "Make" our kids do anything! Boy, don't we all wish we could sometimes? If we could "make" our kids do what we wanted, then there would be no spankings needed - ever, no time-outs, no "talks" - instead we could all wake up to the voices of our children singing "The hills are alive with the sound of music" while making our coffee - ahhh, it's a lovely dream ;-)

"Good parenting = 1 mom + 1 dad + The Holy Spirit"

 All we can do is punish wrong behavior and keep on pointing to Jesus. Because He is the one who gives our hearts the desire to do right.


The fact of the matter is, Scott and I are not rich. Now I know this will come as a shock to most of you since we sport such fancy clothes and all (teehee), but we most likely won't be those parents that leave all sorts of fancy stuff to our chidlren in our will. Although Isaiah did inform me today then when I do die, he gets first dibs on my new Chinese Necklace ;-) What I do plan to leave my children is something of far more value than earthly possesions. I want to leave them with a love for Jesus. It will be up to them, if they want to embrace Him for themselves. No parents can pass on salvation! All we can do is point to Him, lead them to Him, show them how wonderful He is, show them that they can't get to heaven any other way that by the route that He has mapped out ~ Jesus!
 But He by far is the most precious thing we could ever give!
⁴⁴ “ The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."

We gotta stick together.

"Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." ~ Galatians 6:10
In our city of 10 million there are very few believers serving here as missionaries and out of the ones who are here VERY few have children (hhmmm, wonder why that is ;-). We are blessed to know a few families here and today we happened to see all 3 of them in the same day. That might be some kind of a record ;-)
 I love the common bond that comes simply from all of us being "foreign". This bond is about more  than all of us knowing that bananas or ketchup on pizza is just plane wrong, no matter how you look at it - wrong!
We don't come from the same states, we don't work with the same organizations, we might not even be from the same denominations or read from the same translation but we are on the same team!
We have the same Father.
We all have a heart to advance the kingdom here and that unites us. I have a strong burden to help them in any way I can because I want to see them succeed.
It is so important as Christians that we concentrate on the things that we have in common, which far outweigh the things we may not agree on. Major on the majors and minior on the minors.
Jesus spoke so much about His followers being unified that it has to be a must for us.

"I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one--as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me." John 17:21

 

You know your family is living in China when...

1. Your children spend their hour of outside play time driving around in an old Chinese man's electric wheel-chair (ps you just met him 2 seconds ago).
2. You can't go from point A to point B without answering the following questions -
    - Are all these children yours?
    - Are they REALLY all yours?
    - Does America pay you to have children?

3. You now consider Pizza Hut to be a fancy restaurant.
4. Your family talks consist of visa conversations more than current events.
5. You meet strangers who tell you where you live because they know who you are (keep in mind you don't think you've ever seen them before in your life). And they may even show you your picture on their cell phone.
6. You are no longer worried when strangers hand your children food.
7. Your children spend their free time googling things like "How to say kangaroo in Chinsese"
8. Your kids prefer eating peanuts with chopsticks.
9. You get excited to find wheat bread at the store.
10. You eat your fish with the head and tail.
11. You buy street food from little bycicles that have used the same oil for at least a good 7 days.

12. Your surgeon gives you his e-mail address and asks you to please be his friend.
13. You carry toilet paper with you everwhere you go.
14. People can't resist touching your babies hands and face the whole time you're outside.
15. If you walk somewhere, you have to add in extra time for conversations.
16. Your children have no clue what American kids think is cool and you are very VERY happy about that!
17. You only remember it's an American holiday because a Chinese student told you.
18. The local grocery store has an entire isle dedicated to top Ramen and another one entirely for various types of sauces.
19. Girls hold your hands regularly when talking to you.
20. You get scolded because your babies wear diapers.
21. You're the only one around for miles who homeschools.

22. You can't remember what ice in a drink was like....was it a sweet dream?
23. You make a new friend every single time you exit your home!
24. You have not worn a seatbelt in months!
25. You eat chips that are random flavors like seaweed and ketchup.

26. A good portion of the guys you know have perms and think it's cool.

27. All the women you know wear high heeled boots all year, yes even when there is ice outside.
28. Your friends all have names like Apple, snowflake, Punk, Echo, Ivy, Ultra-man, Teddy bear, Happy.
29. You talk about "home" and your children ask "Which one?"

30. You eat things with toenails...and you like them!
31. You no longer think drinking hot water is weird anymore.
32. You would not trade your crazy life for anything in the world ;)

Looking at the glass half full

"Hold on to the good ~ avoid every kind of evil" - 1st Thessalonians 5:21,22

I passed this verse this week and it reminded of something the Lord showed me awhile back.
In our "unique" missionary lifestyle we have done a lot of moving. I have had many conversations with people about living overseas and it seems like the one thing that comes naturally to us all is the ability to be negative. It is way to easy to see all the things we don't like.
So at one point I felt the Lord speak to me and say "Concentrate on the good and ignore the bad". I don't mean ignore sin, I am simply referring to cultural annoyances.
During our first year in China I had to actually write out a list of things that I liked about living here - and trust me, I had to look with creative eyes at that point to make any kind of list. I don't remember the complete list but I do remember a few things. It was something like this -
Chinese people are good at
1. Doing nails
2. Cooking fish
3. Taking pictures
4. Dressing warm

If I wrote out a list tonight about things I love in China it would be incredibly long as I have grown to love this place more and more.

As believers I believe being positive is part of our calling. We are commanded over and over to give thanks continually. God would never have asked us to do this if it weren't possible. Granted there are seasons where this is far hader to do but Paul said the secret to being content is the strength of the Lord. We need His eyes to live with hope. 

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:10-13)

When we choose to make being thankful a habit we also benefit. A cheerful heart is good medicine.

 Several weeks ago our son had to get a surgery here in Harbin. The care is not top notch and it was very stressful! After one of my "shifts" at the hospital I remember walking home and just saying outloud everything that I was thankful for. Thank you Lord that we caught this in time, thank you Lord that the Dr. was nice, thank you Lord that even though the hospital told us there were no beds, we eventually got one. There was a war inside me though. My mind was saying - Why did this have to happen while we were here and not in the states? Why does this stupid country not believe in giving pain meds to my hurting little boy? Why do we not own a car like other people so we do not have to hail a taxi with a son in terrible pain? Those questions went on and on but when I fought those thoughts by choosing to look at God's hand on us I felt stronger.

Christians do not have the luxury of seeing the glass half empty. I do not mean to imply we need to be fake. If we are not happy we can be honest with the Lord. I simply mean that we can not live in a place where we allow negativity to rule our thinking and blame it on things like our "personality". We can create good habits or bad habits and living with a thankful heart is something we must choose to do.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is fair, whatever is pure, whatever is acceptable, whatever is commendable, if there is anything of excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy-keep thinking about these things.

You know you're a mother if.....

This list came to my mind a while back- I thought I would share - feel free to add your own. Hope you get a laugh somewhere in here.

1. Your child hands you a little something with a smile only for you to discover it's a booger.
2. You can never wear white again!
3. The sexiest thing you own is a maternity bra!
4. You have put a binky in your mouth to clean it off.
5. You have sat a crying baby on your lap while you pee.
6. You experience regualar kidney pain because of your infrequent trips to the bathroom.
7. You consider it a holiday when you get to shower without a little person showering with you.
8. You have put the baby in a car seat or high chair with you in the bathroom to actually be able to shower.
9. You are no longer embarrased when people call on the phone and hear you yelling at your kids in the back.
10. You see pretty markers at the store and can only picture unwanted drawings on your walls!
11. You have actually "pre-chewed" food for your baby before.
12. You have days where you are ok with feeding your kids the same meal for breakfast, lunch and possibily dinner.
13. You can pretty much only get on the internet while nursing a baby.
14. You are holding a baby or toddler right now.
15. You can not even make it through a short movie from start to finish because of the never ending "to do" list running through your mind.
16. You count to 3 to warn your children as well as calm yourself down.
17. Your "Bible reading" pretty much consists of children's devotionals.
18. The last book you read from start to finish was "Green Eggs & Ham.
19. You have more packs of playdough than tubes of lipstick in your house.
20. You can't remember the last time ALL of your laundry was done.
21. You regularly have to smell brown "spots" to see if they are chocolate or poop.
22. You have stepped in pee more than once in a day in your own home and you don't even own pets!
23. You have 50 or more single socks and no clue where their matches are.

What Worship Does

So I finally broke down and started a blog. Seems people these days have a blog about everything. I have never been particularly interested in the whole idea for a few reasons. One being time, it takes time...something I am lacking these days ~ But as it turns out, I just so happened to have a leftover piece of chocolate birthday cake in my fridge. So Felicity is busy and I have a free 10 minutes to jot down some thoughts before I move on to cleaning her up ;-)

Last night my husband and a few friends blessed me with a keyboard for my birthday. As if it were destiny a sweet Chinese friend also gave me a large Starbucks coffee. So being the responsible nursing mother that I am, I decided to chug only half my coffee and spend the first half of the night banging on my new keyboard. The funny thing about this is, I don't actually play. I don't play well anyway. I see both the guitar and the keyboard as a tool to simply get out the song in my heart. Worship is such an amazing gift to me. All through scriptures I see how God causes songs to rise up in people.

 I was telling my husband that when I worship I feel like one of those old AM radios. All throughout my day my "ear" to hear the Lord sounds a lot like the fuzz from a radio that can't quite settle on a station, but when I begin to sing to the Lord, it's like the tuner starts to find it's spot and I can "hear" a bit more clearly.

The words that kept playing over and over in my mind last night were "Where else would we go Lord? Only you have the words of life!". Very appropriate words too, since earlier that night we sat talking about 1st and 2nd Thessolonians with several friends. No special speakers, no fancy music, no mics or sound systems, just hungry hearts and the scriptures, but more than enough to satisfy.

I remember when we first moved to Harbin back in March 2007. Back when I had only 2 little ones and I thought my hands were "full".

 Our move here was unlike anyone elses that I know of. We didn't have the funds for a preliminary trip to visit and get a "feel" for the land. It was either move there or don't go. So we came. We knew no contacts here. We spoke no Chinese, we knew nothing about Chinese culture...to say it was a rough first year is an understatement!!!! I am not a big "cryer" but during those first few months I would cry a lot and even got to the point where I would cry in public. My local KFC could have filled a coffee cup with the tears that I let flow while watching my kids play. Then one night I remember Scott pulling out the guitar and worshipping. I already knew that the Lord had given me a word to "Worship with the windows open" - but honestly I didn't "feel" like worshipping. I could sense His still small voice telling me to "Stand up and put your hands in the air". I wrestled with my pride for a minute or 2, and eventually decided I had nothing to lose. So I obeyed. That simple act of obedience proves to be powerful time and time again. I knew at that point God was trading my sorrow for joy, my tears for laughter. China didn't change, my husband's job with all it's stress didn't change, I wasn't a flunt Chinese speaker after that, people didn't stop telling me that I was a bad mother for not dressing my children in layers and layers of clothes, no one stopped spitting on the ground near my shoes, my TINY apartment was not suddenly beautiful - but the joy of the Lord had rescued me. Nothing about our circumstances has to change to experience His joy, and it's that joy that the Bible says is our strength! I need His strength, I must have His joy, so really worship is a life-line! It reminds us that we are small and God is great!

So will I make beautiful music and sound like Beetoven on my new keybaord? Don't count on it! But will I worship my heart out? I have to! I was created to! I remember a quote I heard once, though cheesy, it holds truth. It says "I don't want no rock crying out in my place". So join me, pick up your guitar, or your keyboard or even bang a pot, tap your toe - do something! Let's worship Him together. Let's bless His name! He loves to hear us sing, no matter the sound. I once heard Him speak to me while I was choking back tears and still trying to sing. He said "I love your voice most when it's muffled by the tears". He hears our hearts and when a heart of love flows through our song, He is blessed!